10 Things I've Learned About Owning a Dog

Sunday, 11 August 2013

1. Your socks are never going to be safe again. They are now prize possessions and much be guarded with the utmost of care.

2. Ditto your shoes.

3. When you run into other dog walkers they're either going to be really lovely or really rude. Best to take it with a pinch of salt.

4. All the rules that you start off with(no dog on the sofas, no dog upstairs etc) will last for about two months and then crumble. Rules are meant to be broken.

5. If your dog's food is in a muesli form then don't store it in a clear cereal Tupperware box. Your gran will mistake it for normal muesli.

6. Them licking you is a sign of love. You've just got to suck it up and accept it. And hope to god that they licked something else between their genitals and your face.

7. You can never use the words 'walk' or 'biscuit' in their presence without suffering the consequences. Best to make up codewords.

8. There is no such thing as taking too many waste bags on a walk.

9. There is also no such thing as a mud free dog walk. They will find a way.

10. They become a part of the family so quickly. Within a fortnight you'll wonder how you ever lived without them.

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